Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
home. puking in laundry basket.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
