I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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