yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
