Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
