You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
