No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
