Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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