your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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