There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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