OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
