we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I want you more than these girls want KFC
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
