She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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