I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
