you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
