What did we do last night that was yellow?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
someone owes me an orgasm
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
