I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
