i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
