It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize