i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
So squirting runs in the family.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Randomize
