Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
