You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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