I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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