I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
