what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
