singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
