Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
