so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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