just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
