the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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