I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
