Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i drank out of a bidet.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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