Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
