if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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