were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I need a beard to bite.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
