I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
