home. puking in laundry basket.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
