Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
