Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He felt like a one man threesome
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
