I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
