Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
