This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
