Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
