Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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