Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
