Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
