you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
