Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
