They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize