yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
