Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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