Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
