Dual....:-)
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
