This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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