This is not my ceiling
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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