just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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