Small penises have feelings too.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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