Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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