I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize