Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
