ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
