you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
