I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
