You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
