Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
