dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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