Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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