im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
