No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
4 words: hood of his car
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
