Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
