you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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