Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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